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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09October2012 at 1:42am
I do this exercise and it works magic :

Write down 10 things for which you are grateful for your relationship. and also add a reason why?
It can be as simple as - I am thankful for my wife as she cooks food for me which saves me cooking time :) I m thankful for my husband as he works hard all day to earn bread and butter which helps us survive better :)

Personally, when I had bad relation, for next few days (around 5 days), every day I used to write down 10 new things for which I m grateful for my wife and in just 5 days I had 50 reasons to love her. From those I could speak only 5 to 7 to her and now love never ends which gives me more and more and more reason to love her :)


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Khoji View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khoji Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09October2012 at 11:36pm
When we can honestly ask ourselves which
persons in our lives mean most to us, we
often find that they are those who, instead
of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have
chosen rather to share our pain and touch
our wounds with a warm and tender hand.

Henri Nouwen
Life is short, energy limited, with this limited energy we have to find the unlimited; with this short life we have to find the eternal. Don?t waste it with unimportant matters

Khoji

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khoji Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09October2012 at 11:40pm
Pain is difficult to go through, we all know.  But sometimes our friends and loved ones can inadvertently make things worse by trying to give us advice, trying to "fix" things when what we really need is a sympathetic ear, someone to just be there.  Someone who, when we tell them how we're feeling, doesn't say, "Well, you should. . ."  When we're hurt, the best thing we can do is allow our feelings to be, and to try to deal with them and let them pass.  You may feel that your advice is valid, but we must keep in mind that what works for us more than likely won't work for others.
 
It's so tempting to want to be helpful.  It's so tempting to want to "make" a loved one feel better.  But when I'm feeling down, I may react best to laughter.  You may react best to journaling about the pain--and your advice to me to journal would be heartfelt and sincere, but not at all helpful.  You being there for me to just share the pain that I feel and help me to deal with it would be extremely helpful.
 
I would like you to be there for me.  I want to be there for the people in my life.  But being there doesn't mean that you or I have to "fix" anything for anyone else--our compassion and our company can be the most effective medicine that we can offer to someone who means a lot to us in life.

Questions to consider:
Why do we tend to want to give advice and tell people what they should do when they're dealing with problems?

 
How can we remind ourselves to stay quiet and simply listen when our loved ones need someone to hear them?
 
Who in your life is someone who is there for you when you need them, without trying to tell you how to solve your problems?


Silences make the real conversations between friends.
Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.

 

Margaret Lee Runbeck


Life is short, energy limited, with this limited energy we have to find the unlimited; with this short life we have to find the eternal. Don?t waste it with unimportant matters

Khoji

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satvinder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09November2012 at 12:50am
A Real Relationship,
Has Fights.
Has Trust.
Has Faith.
Has Tears.
Has Hurt.
Has Sweet Smiles.
Has Genuine Laughter.
Has Snorts Because of the Laughter.
Has Weird, Stupid, Unnecessary Arguments.
Has Patience.
Has Communication.
Its where the man
'n women wouldnt even think of looking at someone else,
Never keep anything from eachother..
Love them More 'n More every day,
Get jealous 'n Through every argument still love eachother.. ! :)
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09November2012 at 1:09am
Originally posted by Shuchita Chawla Shuchita Chawla wrote:

Thanks all of you for your advise! I used this forum to make sure whether I am thinking in the right manner and if not then get the help from you all and help my parents to get bonded again.


Dear Suchita ji...has it helped u anyways???
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote vimal_bagga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12November2012 at 12:06am
Satshriakaal Sangat Ji,

Question is about Family Matters.
The family bonding do not require any Formula or method or skill.
What it require is "Politeness and humility"
Try it once...Things will happen itself...
Every problem has a solution with discussion.Your attitude matters.Some people make the discussion as a debate or argument.Please don not let it happen !

Just be Polite and crystal clear.
What "GURBANI" teach??????
Here it is -


"Saram surti dui sasur bhae. Karnee kaaman kar man lae"

Modesty and intuitive understanding are my parents-in-law, I have made good deeds as my spouse.




"Mithat neevee Naanakaa gun changiaaeeaa tatt"

Sweetness of humility, O Nanak, is the essence of all good virtues"
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satvinder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12November2012 at 1:01am
well said ji...
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Jujhar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12November2012 at 5:22am
Superb ji...Es nal we can earn...Mithi Nazar, Mithi Boli and Mithi Hamdardi....the True Art of Living...
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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satvinder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05February2013 at 10:56am
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take...
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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05February2013 at 11:48pm
Hmmmm...

To me every relation is a give and take transaction... and both persons should understand this...
Parents expect respect against love they give to children and children must perform to get reward of gadgets... 

This is the only way to take a relation to long term sustainability...
We cannot keep giving without getting something in return... 

If today I ask something from my father immediately I am looking forward in return what best can I do for him...

We all need help and assistance and we all can support each other...

I always share what I expect from other person and this improves chances of sustaining a relationship...

My little 2 years old daughter do not wear slippers and I scold her to hell to get her wear slippers as it is cold... and the moment she wears slipper I give her all the love which I can... This way she understands how to get my love easily and instantly... :)

Most people have trouble instantly switching to love and thus prefer "only giving and not taking" as a solution which seems impracticable to me... :)

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote satvinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06February2013 at 2:21am
Give and take transactions happen only in business.Well maybe this way has worked best for you jaspreet ji, but my experience has been quite different. When parents love children unconditionally,they get back immense love nd respect from their children, but if they do it with expectation they often remain in grief and pain.A give and take in relationships always gives rise to expectations and in my opinion expectations always reduce joy and increase sorrow.Love is the only ingredient that can sustain any relation.When we look at the other person's score board,that he/she has given me this much, so i shall also return that much...our relations tend to get stagnated and slowly they get empty and hollow.But on the other hand if we are all giving and all loving the amount of peace and happiness that you experience is immeasureable.
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Ur Frnd - Jaspreet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ur Frnd - Jaspreet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06February2013 at 6:49am
:)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kavreen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07February2013 at 6:43am
relationship are based on unconditional love
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08February2013 at 1:53am
Well said ji....and welcome to The Living Treasure Discussion forum...Hope u enjoy being a part of Living Treasure family. Do tell us more about urself on the following link:-

http://www.thelivingtreasure.org/forum/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=141&KW=intro&FID=6&PR=3&title=let-us-introduce-ourselves

Regards

�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12February2013 at 12:30am
"Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners".
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Khoji View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khoji Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20February2013 at 2:46am
if you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others. Rather learn to see your own faults. Learn to make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger, this whole world is your own.

When we get even the slightest glimpse of the unity of life, we realize that in tearing others down we are tearing ourselves down too. When you sit in judgment on other people and countries and races, you’re training your mind to sit in judgment on yourself. As we forgive others, we are teaching the mind to respond with forgiveness everywhere, even to the misdeeds and mistakes of our own past.
Life is short, energy limited, with this limited energy we have to find the unlimited; with this short life we have to find the eternal. Don?t waste it with unimportant matters

Khoji

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03November2015 at 2:10am
पहले लोग भावुक होते थे...
भावना में बह कर रिश्ते निभाते थे...
फिर लोग प्रैक्टिकल हुए ... भावना का कोई स्थान नहीं था ... रिश्तों से फायदा उठाते थे...
अब लोग प्रोफेशनल हो गए हैं।
जिनसे फायदा उठाया जा सके
सिर्फ वहीँ रिश्ते बनाते हैं ...
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RajinderSinghOberoi2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06November2015 at 8:27am
Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh, Sir you have rightly said about relationship. Sadi jindgi len aur den te vi khari hai. Jado asi kise kolon kuch lende han tan keh sakde ho ki phaida uthaya. Jide nal piar hove us nu kuch den te dil karda hai. Us kolo kuch len di aas vi nahi hundi. jado asi kise nu kuch dende han dusre di help karde han tan mano "vich duniya sev kamaeye" hai. Asi dekhiye ki main dusre di kis tarah help kar sakda han. Asi kise di vi help tan, man aur dhan kar ke kar sakde han. Manukh da manorath hi dusrean vaste hai.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09November2015 at 12:00am
Well said ji
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jujhar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17February2016 at 3:55am
Excellent message and i have read it many times n it still is afresh pls read :)) It was their anniversary, and Aisha was waiting for her husband Rajiv to show up. Things had changed since their marriage, the once cute couple couldn't-live-without-each-other had turned bitter. Fighting over every little things, both didn't like the way things had changed. Aisha was waiting to see if Rajiv remembered it was their anniversary! Just as the door bell rang she ran to find her husband wet and smiling with a bunch of flowers in his hand. The two started re-living the old days. Making up for fights, then was d plan for champagne, light music And it was raining! It was perfect. But the moment paused when the phone in the bedroom rang. Aisha went to pick it up and it was a man. "Hello ma'am I'm calling from the police station. Is this Mr Rajiv Mehra's number?" "Yes it is!" "I'm sorry ma'am; but there was an accident and a man died. We got this number from his wallet; we need you to come and identify his body." Aisha's heart sank.!!! She was shocked! But my husband is here with me?" "Sorry ma'am, but the incident took place at 2 pm, when he was boarding the train." Aisha was about to lose her conscience. How could this happen?! She had heard about the soul of the person coming to meet a loved one before it leaves! She ran into the other room. He was not there. It was true! had left her for good!! Oh God she would have died for another chance to mend every little fight! She rolled on the floor in pain. She lost her chance! Forever! Suddenly there was a noise from the bathroom, the door opened and Rajiv came out and said "Darling, I forgot to tell you my wallet got stolen today". LIFE MIGHT NOT GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. SO NEVER WASTE A MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN STILL MAKE UP FOR YOUR WRONGS!!! Let's start making amends. To parents To siblings To friends And many more. No one has a promised tomorrow. Have a wonderful Life with no regrets! Www.Facebook.com/sifkreations
�.���`�."Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it"�.���`�.�
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