kindly help us to take major decison

gurfateh to all.....................

daas  amratdhari,gursikh uppermiddile class family di eklauti beti hai,daas aap vi amratdhari hai.meri aayu 21 y`rs hai.duvidha eh ve ki mere ghar ch mere lai ek rishta aaya ve rishta mere

relative pariwar to hai. groom delhi di kisi multinational company ch job krde ne te onna da pariwar up di city ch well seteled ne.groom di salary 20,000-25000 ve.groom te onna di family ch koi aab nahi ve.grrom khubsurat,smart ne.amrat vi chakeya si onna ne.te dikat eh vi ki onna di salary delhi de hisab naal badi ghat ve te kisi rent  de ghar ch reh ke ghar chalana enni ghat salary naal ki guzara ho sakda? te mere mom-dad ess gaalo chintit nete. 

          Dujji gaal eh vi hai ki mere mom-dad eh chande ne ki vivah de kuj salla baad assi onna di city ch aajaiye te groom mere dada da b`ness lookafter karan. Ki eh gaal mom-dad nu onna de family agge rakhni chaidi ve.waise ajee ha nahi kahi ve .ki mere ghardeya nu es rishte lai manzuri deni chaidi ve.grrom di age 25 yrs ve.

    kindly help us & send us reply as soon as possible

 gurfateh........

age of my papa is 57 yrs

Dear Guru Ki Beti ji

From the information given above and
from the best of my experience and
understanding, here I m producing
something which may help you and may
not...

1. Less Salary-
This is a variable term and can be increased
any time. So no need to worry unless the next
person is himself not ready to explore new
things in life. Today, making more money is
very easy. However believing this statement
takes time because of traditional conditioning
of mind.

2. Should it be discussed that he can acquire
business in future-
If you discuss it now, then may be he is
marrying you because this proposal is too attractive :-)

Today, alot of problems are arising after marriage and
root cause is generally found in monitory terms. Yes
their are ego clashes which cannot be overseen but greed
plays its role very well.

Also, if this is the first marriage proposal, then scope of
little innovation is possible.

Now what I want to say:
I married my wife without dowry, without any offer for
future business, without many functions, only a marriage
function where we focused on learning what Guru Patshah
is teaching in 4 Lawas... My income was Rs 15,000 at that
time and immidiately before marriage it was Rs 30,000, now
it is above Rs 70,000.

So the appoint is -
Let family consider other things like is the family
good and should we offer business or not, you focus
on knowing one thing that what this groom looks forward
for in life from his family, your family, you and his
occupation. And to get all these answers the best way
is to ask these questions. You can start by introducing
yourself and then asking him about what he really want to
achieve in life and what are his expectations from his
would be wife. Be prepared because he may also ask you
the same questions :-)
(Note- you are a girl so you taking initiative is
justified because you are leaving your family. Dont
feel bad that what will he think:) )

Personally,
I told Amrit, my wife, that their are people who are
financially rich and their are people who are spiritually
rich, I want both. So I m looking for building some
business where I can make more money and still have more
time for family. I told her about my expectations from her
that I live in a joint family and every day their will be
some hot environment so will she be able to adjust or not?
and I love my mom, so will she be able to love my mom?

See, the idea is - that outer circumstances can be taken
care of if internally you are clear what you want in life,
else you will remain confused and will keep on thinking
can this be better than this,   instead of this could be
worst than this.

I suggest that talking about business idea is not
good as this may be seen as other form of dowry.

Some people argue, "Whats wrong with dowry?"
I simply say, "Nothing.




Usually it happens that those who take dowry they feel
that it is girl's parents responsibility that they
take care of girl and boy at the time of marriage and
"ever after". So this "ever after" may cause huge problem :)
When both husband and/or wife (even daughters also force
parents to contribute woods to the burning fire) do
not take personal responsibility for their life and
their decisions, life will remain troublesome. And when
one takes control of situation and learns to adjust
and clear obstacles then his/her belief and faith levels
are too high to face life.


I hope my contribution is of help and value
Guru ki Beti ji. Do reply?


Others do contribute...

gurfateh veer jio........

veer ji assi dove ek duje nu bachpan to hi jande ha.te mere mom-dad halle nahi but vivah d kuj saala baad eh chande ne ki assi onna de city ch aake alag ghar ch rahiye te onna de b`ness te onna di look after kariye. veer essa mere parents es lai chande ne b`coz mi apne mom-dad di kalli beti ha.mere dada di age 57 y`rs ve te meri mamma di vi sehat dhilli rehndi ve. ,te eh apne ghar pariwar to already 6 salla to door delhi ch rehende ne.dujji gaal eh ve ki onna de mom-dad ke paas onna de vade beta-bahu ne jo onna di sewa krde en.

 veer sannu eh dasso ki mere mom-dad nu eh gaal halle kholni chidi ve ki nahi ki "mom-dad chande ne ki viyah de chand saala baad assi onna d city aake rahiye te onaa d,te onna de b`ness di look after kariye"?

I m of the same opinion as Jujhar veer,
You can talk this boy personally and take
his opinion but your parents need not talk.

Also, since boy is already away from home for
6 years it is important that what he wants should
be known.
Simply, dont assume anything and ask everything but
keep it personal talk and not public talk...


Others do contribute

gurfateh jujhar veer..

WJKK, WJKF Ji,

Dear, I understand your problem very well but let me say that the choice of a life partner is not done on what he earns but on how he is. If that boy is good natured ,caring and of high moral values then u should go ahead with the alliance.Jujharji and jaspreetji have mentioned above that salary should not be a deciding factor as salary can always increase later and even if it doesn't increase you will always have a life partner who cares for you and gives you time.
As for the issue about you staying with your parents after some years of your marriage, i think this issue can be discussed between both of you keeping in mind the problems at your end.
Take Care and Pls don't worry.

sorry, i thought it otherwise. i do not think it is a big matter. parents are parents either of son or daughter. they are supposed to be taken well take of from their children..........son or daughter. and i am sure, the boy in question will also understand this very much. my own brother lives near his wife's parents house and we always appreciated his move because my brother's wife has two more sisters and no brother. on the other side my parents had enough support from my other brothers and we all adjusted well. such matters never need any discussion, just go ahead. with time everything is settled and taken care of with GURU KI KIRPA.

gurfateh to all..

mere parents naal onna di gaal hoi si,te onna ne sadiya sariya galla maan litiya ne.

but minnu kuj assiya galla ne jo samajh nahi aarahiya ne,oh galla eh ne

oh chaunde ne ajje assi es rishte diya galla nu disclose na kariye,eh ek confidencial matter banke rave,jad tak sagai karan da sahi time nahi aajanda.duji eh gall ki ajje oh nahi chande assi i.e. bride te groom same aan ,na chat te na vaise oh milwane nu taiyaar ne...

essa kyun?mom kehnde ne ki oh ajje sadda jhakka nahi khulwana chaunde.te rishte ch koi dakhal na kare so es lai onna rishte nu confidencial matter rakhan nu kehya ve.

sagai tad tak nahi honi jab tak meri b.com khatam na ho jave jis ch  ajje june tak da time ve.

Yeh you may try and talk to them on lines shared by suminder ji.

Regards