TheLivingTreasure Forum

Family Matters : kindly help us to take major decison

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:11:04 +0000

Author: Jujhar
Subject: kindly help us to take major decison
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 1:11pm

I dont think thats needed, but you can talk to the guy regarding this and take his views on this issue.

Family Matters : kindly help us to take major decison

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:35:19 +0000

Author: GURU KI BETI_KAUR
Subject: kindly help us to take major decison
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 8:35am

gurfateh veer jio........

veer ji assi dove ek duje nu bachpan to hi jande ha.te mere mom-dad halle nahi but vivah d kuj saala baad eh chande ne ki assi onna de city ch aake alag ghar ch rahiye te onna de b`ness te onna di look after kariye. veer essa mere parents es lai chande ne b`coz mi apne mom-dad di kalli beti ha.mere dada di age 57 y`rs ve te meri mamma di vi sehat dhilli rehndi ve. ,te eh apne ghar pariwar to already 6 salla to door delhi ch rehende ne.dujji gaal eh ve ki onna de mom-dad ke paas onna de vade beta-bahu ne jo onna di sewa krde en.

veer sannu eh dasso ki mere mom-dad nu eh gaal halle kholni chidi ve ki nahi ki "mom-dad chande ne ki viyah de chand saala baad assi onna d city aake rahiye te onaa d,te onna de b`ness di look after kariye"?

General Discussions : Why we are so selfish

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:19:09 +0000

Author: Ur Frnd - Jaspreet
Subject: Why we are so selfish
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 8:19am

Thank you very much.

You are also doing a great job...

Most of the work is done internally, outer results
are the reflection of truth within.

And I strongly feel Narinder ji, that you have grown
alot and stronger within... :-)

General Discussions : Why we are so selfish

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:30:02 +0000

Author: Narinder
Subject: Why we are so selfish
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 7:30am

Jaspreet ji, first of all I am happy and a little bit suprised that you spare time for this social cause. it is very much appreciative on your part and we all are very thankful to you. i wrote this topic after introspecting myself. everyday i think to do something for others........... but never did.......... and i have excuses for this which may seem truely genuine.

Again thanks.

Family Matters : kindly help us to take major decison

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:24:45 +0000

Author: Narinder
Subject: kindly help us to take major decison
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 7:24am

in my view money is not a big issue. because at marriageable age, most of the people do not earn much because they are just at start of their career. and serving to parents of husband is expected by all. today girls are pampered by their families and they are a bit hesitant to serve their in laws, it is commonly seen.......... even in our families. because girls are also earning a lot today and they boast of their well upbringing and wealth and support of their parents. and a little discomfort in in-law's family relationships. so one should not think otherwise and if the boy is nice in all respects one should go ahead.

General Discussions : Why we are so selfish

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:52:47 +0000

Author: Ur Frnd - Jaspreet
Subject: Why we are so selfish
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 5:52am

Great sharing Narinder ji and Jujhar veer

I have a different point of view.

Just as we have 5 Vikars which cannot be
separated from us, similarly being selfish,
being greedy, being egoist, being egotist,
are also integrated into us.

Why do one buy something? Because it gives
value which one perceives.
Example, if I watch a horror movie, I
cannot sleep, but still I love to watch
horror movie and even pay for it. That
feeling is the perceived value for me.
This can apply to other movies. Some people
are sold out on movies about terrorism, some
on sikhism, some on comedy, some on action
and some on romantic. And we give our time
and money, both...

Now some people feel hurt on seeing others
in pain and thus help the needy to serve
their own feeling. Dont take me wrong. Instead
try to understand. Because this truth can give
you a new way of thinking.

I cannot bear when someone comes to me especially
old aged and ask for money - I give money immediately :)

or

someone who comes
and says that I have lost all my belongings and
have no money to go back to my home town. Can you
give some money to buy ticket to reach back home.
I give him money.

I really get sold on those ideas... I pay :-)

I get sold on the idea of providing education
to childern.

My frnd gets sold on the idea of "Adopt a Granny",
pay charity for taking care of elders.

etc. etc. etc.

Point which i want to share is that we all
pay our money and spend our time on the things
we feel strongly about. I see people sit
quitely for 5 hours in Veer Bhupinder Singh ji's
programs.
I see people doing charity by physically going
their and serving medicine, etc.

So whats the click?

1. We all are selfish and if we are forced
to go against our self center, then we become
deeply bored and highly EGO Maniac. Want proof?

Ever listened to someone - I do this path everyday.
I go to Bangla Sahib and do seva. I spend 1 full hour
providing free medical checkup and medicines.

2. People can be convinced and directed to use their
selfishness for the benefit of all.

That is the best part of being selfish. You can
convince any one that if you do not think of others
then others will also not take care of you,
- your boss will fire you if you do not
take care of him,
- Your parents will stop loving you if you do
not do this
- Society will not recognize you or your goodwill
will be jeopardized if you do not do this in public.
- etc.

Punishment is the best form of motivation. You can
practically test it.
Tell someone to eat healthy food to stay fit, they
might ignore.
Now, tell them, drink aloe vera juice or green tea
to avoid heart attach, high BP, etc. and see the
magic.

Tell someone help others for creating better world
and see your words falling on deaf ears.
Tell someone help others especially on road else
criminals will think, "no one stops to see what
happened and so we will stop all vehicles one by one
and kill all and take all they have,Ha Ha Ha" and see
the impact.

Tell someone join Living Treasure forum for improving
thought process and better life. People ignore.
Tell someone to join Forum just to know how they
can get their parents or in laws or husband or wife
to listen and understand them and see the results :-)

Being selfish is good, but use common sense in choosing
direction.

Others do contribute...

General Discussions : Why we are so selfish

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:16:45 +0000

Author: Jujhar
Subject: Why we are so selfish
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 5:16am

Well said ji....the person who is self centred is SELFISH...he/she doesn't have concern about others well being.He is always concentrating on his happiness even at cost of hurting others. But one this is sure that the person who is selfish is never at PEACE....

General Discussions : Why we are so selfish

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:26:13 +0000

Author: Narinder
Subject: Why we are so selfish
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 4:26am

Most of the time I think about this word… selfishness.

We all know about ourselves, our priorities, desires, expectations, everything which relates to our own life. Never giving a thought to help others or participating in any social cause, though it never costs anything. We can spend hundreds/thousands of rupees on our clothes, jewellery or food or outings. But we forget the good deeds done by others and which have benefited us a lot…………..still this human behaviour……… I know it is just an excuse.

Not only money, even we can not spend few minutes to social cause……………

Family Matters : kindly help us to take major decison

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 02:43:11 +0000

Author: Ur Frnd - Jaspreet
Subject: kindly help us to take major decison
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 2:43am

Dear Guru Ki Beti ji

From the information given above and
from the best of my experience and
understanding, here I m producing
something which may help you and may
not...

1. Less Salary-
This is a variable term and can be increased
any time. So no need to worry unless the next
person is himself not ready to explore new
things in life. Today, making more money is
very easy. However believing this statement
takes time because of traditional conditioning
of mind.

2. Should it be discussed that he can acquire
business in future-
If you discuss it now, then may be he is
marrying you because this proposal is too attractive :-)

Today, alot of problems are arising after marriage and
root cause is generally found in monitory terms. Yes
their are ego clashes which cannot be overseen but greed
plays its role very well.

Also, if this is the first marriage proposal, then scope of
little innovation is possible.

Now what I want to say:
I married my wife without dowry, without any offer for
future business, without many functions, only a marriage
function where we focused on learning what Guru Patshah
is teaching in 4 Lawas... My income was Rs 15,000 at that
time and immidiately before marriage it was Rs 30,000, now
it is above Rs 70,000.

So the appoint is -
Let family consider other things like is the family
good and should we offer business or not, you focus
on knowing one thing that what this groom looks forward
for in life from his family, your family, you and his
occupation. And to get all these answers the best way
is to ask these questions. You can start by introducing
yourself and then asking him about what he really want to
achieve in life and what are his expectations from his
would be wife. Be prepared because he may also ask you
the same questions :-)
(Note- you are a girl so you taking initiative is
justified because you are leaving your family. Dont
feel bad that what will he think:) )

Personally,
I told Amrit, my wife, that their are people who are
financially rich and their are people who are spiritually
rich, I want both. So I m looking for building some
business where I can make more money and still have more
time for family. I told her about my expectations from her
that I live in a joint family and every day their will be
some hot environment so will she be able to adjust or not?
and I love my mom, so will she be able to love my mom?

See, the idea is - that outer circumstances can be taken
care of if internally you are clear what you want in life,
else you will remain confused and will keep on thinking
can this be better than this, instead of this could be
worst than this.

I suggest that talking about business idea is not
good as this may be seen as other form of dowry.

Some people argue, "Whats wrong with dowry?"
I simply say, "Nothing.

Usually it happens that those who take dowry they feel
that it is girl's parents responsibility that they
take care of girl and boy at the time of marriage and
"ever after". So this "ever after" may cause huge problem :)
When both husband and/or wife (even daughters also force
parents to contribute woods to the burning fire) do
not take personal responsibility for their life and
their decisions, life will remain troublesome. And when
one takes control of situation and learns to adjust
and clear obstacles then his/her belief and faith levels
are too high to face life.

I hope my contribution is of help and value
Guru ki Beti ji. Do reply?

Others do contribute...

General Discussions : Nice Quotes

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 02:38:30 +0000

Author: Jujhar
Subject: Nice Quotes
Posted: 29�July�2010 at 2:38am

So true thanks for sharing this great thought veer.